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Summary of Question:	Why Do Our Fathers Suspect Us?
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Saturday, 1/14/2006 9:14 PM MST

hi im ash frm nz and im 15.....id like you to plzz help me and all my punjabi friends out because our parents especially our fathers always suspects us...like are always suspicious on us thinking the unthinkable and always questioning us on (why do u always talk on ur ph?, who is on the ph wit u?, r u sure u dont hav a bf bcoz if u do ur not doing the right thing n stuff like this)n we tell them like u know dad ji were jus talkin to a friend whos a GAL..they look real back weridly...its annoying...why do our parents have to always take us back to their past and try to take away our fun....they like to see especially us gals not boys so much locked up in a house instead of being out wit friends....the biggest problem is that they dont trust us...also now our parents say since we r 15 now we cant go out wit friends n hav fun bcoz its unsafe.....i dont get it why us....dont they get it its all changed now its not their old days....the list culd go on.....so plzzzzz culd u help us gals understand why this happens to us punjabi gals bcox im very confused.....thank you...this wuld mean soooo much to us gals...ssa

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Yeah, it's not the old days, and that's probably why your dads are so strict and seem not to trust you. What they don't trust is the world outside of the safety and security of your home! Nowadays there's so much stuff going on that can hurt young girls that I'm sure they are just being -- well, probably a bit too overprotective. But I would suggest that instead of being mad at them, and resenting their questioning you, you make it a point to prove to them by your very good behavior in school and at home, that you are responsible and trustworthy. Also, have you ever tried just talking with your dad? I don't mean complaining, but having an actual conversation where you tell him who your gal friends are, and what you like to do when you go out? At your age, parents can seem like the enemy, but I swear, they are not! And probably you spend as little time with your dad as possible, but, hey, why not try spending some time with him? Is that an option? I know it's contrary to your normal 15 year old instincts, but it might be worth a try. Anyway, if it's any consolation, remember, time will pass, and this situation won't last forever. So, are you getting good grades? (Just asking!) Blessings, SP