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Summary of Question:	Confession Of Lost Love
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 3/10/2006 6:35 PM MST

WkWF

I read all the mails everyday. Sikhnet is doing a great job in solving problems for ppl like me and everyone out there. Seeing all this i have been able to confess the mistakes that i have made in past. I was 18 then and i fall in love with a guy from my college. we were both different caste but i had no idea. He knew about it and he decided to tell me one day that we both belong to different castes but he told me it doesn't matter we both are sikhs. He loved me a lot and i loved him the same but that night was too hard for me. I thought about it and i felt that i'll have to sacrifice my love for my families pride. I made up my mind and told him next day that i can't keep up with this relationship as it is going to hurt my near and dears. My mom had suffered a lot to bring us up and..........I didn't think about this at that time how it was going to hurt him. Pushpi u must have been...... He told me believe in baba ji, do paath things will work out..........I had already made up my mind, so i decided to stick with it but it was too hard for me to stay in the same college. I decided that i am going to drop out of BAMS somehow. My family was looking for a guy from abroad so eventually they can settle in abroad. Without thinking about it twice i just went ahead with it and got married. Life after that i do not know how i lived........Till today he is still in a corner of my heart. I still love him the same. I wish we had access to Sikhnet at that time, life would have been different. There is no caste, only one God. Supreme power had made us equal. We should never hurt anyone, but i have hurt a nice man knowengly. He was the only man that i ahve loved in my life and still do. Life goes on but i am living with the guilt that have done something like this to someone.

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Sat nam. Thank you for your story so that others might learn. Not everyone believes that it is OK for parents to use the lives of their children in this way.
There is nothing you can do but forgive yourself, him, and your family. He had to move on, and so did you. Do not carry the guilt anymore. Free yourself. Narayan sad sad bakshind, the Lord is ever the Forgiver. Guru ang sang,
-DKK