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Summary of Question:	Helplessness-
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Sunday, 2/03/2002 10:29 AM MST

Hello, i am in need of help. I am wondering whether religion is the answer. I am a sikh, but non-practising. As i dont go to Gurdwara often and do not pray as much as i used to when i was younger. I have had these feelings of helplessness, confusion, inability to make decisions (if i do- the outcome is not good), low self esteem/confidence etc for a while. I am struggling at university, i have no social life(I do not interact with anyone at uni and have stopped communicating with friends) . I am so used to solitude. Things have got to the stage where i self harm (SH) and i now go to councelling(just started 4 weeks ago). As i have been SH`ing myself for a number of years now..i feel this is the norm for me and is the way to handle my feelings of anger towards myself. My councellor is great, but i am wondering whether praying/ meditation can help me stop SH`ing. I have tried but have failed on all attempts. I need some advice on how to get started and what prayers to read. I need peace..

I hope somebody out there can help me.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
(REPLY) You already know the answer to your questions. You know that you have simply made SH a habit, but it's not "Norm" -- The best way to stop a habit is to replace it with another habit. So, instead of a destructive habit, how about making it a habit to read your Nitnem every day? Start with Japji Sahib first thing in the morning, before you eat breakfast. And read Kirtan Sohila before you go to sleep at night. And gradually add in all the other banis. You may be feeling angry towards yourself because you feel guilty that you have stopped praying. So start again! Continue working with the Counselor, and with Guru's grace, you're going to be all right! Call on Guru Ram Das, the Lord of Miracles, to heal you. Do you know the shabd: DHAN DHAN RAM DAS GUR JIN SIRIAA TINEH SAVARIA... etc? Try repeating the whole shabd 11 times a day and pray for help. God lives and breathes in you, every time you inhale, God is reminding you of His presence. SAT NAM -- Truth is your identity. Whatever problems you are having are not who you ARE,they are actions and feelings, so you need to go into your deepest soul and find the light and joy that is who you really are, "Sat Nam." blessings, SP