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Summary of Question:	Very Confused And Hopeless
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 11/19/2002 2:53 PM MST

Firstly, I’d like to say that this is a great youth forum and I am hoping that someone will be able to shed some light upon me and help me with my problem. I am doing my final year in high school and I am extremely nervous about applying to university. I study extremely hard and sometimes feel that I am giving up far too much just for school. I have no time to watch tv or relax or enjoy myself. Even if I have a spare moment I am constantly thinking about school. This really frustrates me. I try not to think about it but I do. I also feel that I try so hard but its not paying off to the extent that I would like it to. I get good grades but they are not to my satisfaction. I mean I don’t expect to get 100% on everything as I understand that everyone makes mistakes and that is the only way to grow and learn. However, I get very upset when I make careless mistakes. By this I mean that I do know what I am doing on a test but I make silly mistakes. I try to check over my work thoroughly but somehow one or two of these silly mistakes don’t come to my attention. I am not sure if this is due to me being nervous or if I just don’t see these things but it really upsets me. I know this may seem like a really petty problem but it has having a really bad affect on me. It makes me feel really bad I feel that even when I try my best its not enough and I feel angry with myself. I pray daily and try to find some peace but its only temporary. I really don’t know what to do. If there is anything you can tell me to help me with this problem please let me know I will greatly appreciate it. Thank you in advance. Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh

(REPLY) Sat Nam. It sounds as if you are really giving yourself a bad time. Is anyone at home putting pressure on you to be "perfect"? Nobody is perfect, and if your doing well in general, then I suggest you need to really, really set your mind to accept that fact that God is the Doer -- and if you have done your best, then you have to relax about the results. I know that sounds easier said than done, but you will give yourself ulcers before you're 20 if you don't lighten up. I'm not saying you should neglect your studies, but maybe you need to learn a technique for studying better -- not harder. You will actually do better on tests if you have taken some time during the week to relax and change your focus. Getting out in nature is very soothing - can you go for a walk or a hike somewhere? And what about music? go to a concert, or sing along with a CD -- and especially, spend some quality time with your Guru. Yes, read in English translation the words of the Guru on a regular basis so that you get your life into perspective. You're not missing much of value by not taking time for TV, because there's a lot of junk on it these days, but if these anxiety feelings continue, you might consider speaking with your school counselor. I think it may not be that uncommon. Also, before and during taking a test or during study times, take a few long deep breaths -- really long and really deep (through your nose only) and think SAT on the inhale and NAM on the exhale to calm your mind and help you remember that God is with you at every moment, with every breath. I wish you the best! Blessings, SP