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Summary of Question:	Gurlz These Days
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Friday, 7/20/2001 9:15 PM MDT

Hey,

I have a question. First off, ill tell you right now that I am 15 and i am a thinker like a 20 year old. I have deep thoughts and i am mature for my age.
I live in a city close to Toronto, and I am in a fairly modernized family. My parents have spoken to me about marrage and girls, and they are fine with me finding my own Punjabi kuri to marry later in life.
I have been exposed to various laces and i go out and deal with people. My conclusion of Inidna gurlz these days is tht they are truly gone bad, and i dont get it. U see, most of these gurlz hav had sex before marrage. Even though if i have sex before marrage, I want my wife to be a virgin - I will most likely be a virgin too.
My Q is. Whats bad and wats good? Is talkin to guys on the internet okay for a gurl? is hanging around guys okay? is goin to a party once in a while okay? To me, and probably most apnay, these things bring a begative picture in our heads, but is it really that bad??.
I am concerned bout Punjabian dee future..........

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REPLY
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Sat Sri Akal,

It is not necessarily Indian girls that have gone bad, the entire Western society is very base. It is not necessarily only Western society either. It is actually possible to realize the natural progression on how society got here, I encourage you to dissociate yourself from the universe and look at it from an outsiders point of view over the last 1000 years of history. It is a hard task but as time progressed societies started, flourished, declined and ended. It is all a cycle.

However, getting back to your question. What is wrong? Wrong is anything that increases maya and decreases awareness of Sat Guru. Is talking wrong? No, not even if it is girl-guy. Is going to parties wrong? What is the point of the party? Is it to flirt with people, possible drink beer and have "fun"? That is what most parties are about these days. Why is drinking beer wrong? Because it makes you lose control of yourself, it increases maya, you make fool of yourself, etc. (not to mention all the adverse health effects). Is it wrong to flirt? What is the point of flirting in the first place? Most likely to get sexually involved in the long run. Is that what you want?

However, parties can be different too. There are parties with music and good times, but you have to act responsibly. It is all about context. Does that mean you can't do things with girls and have fun? No. But you must always keep your primary goal in mind. What do consider fun? Is that consistent with Sikhism? Does that mean that you must get an arranged marriage? No, but you must also remember that going out with a lot of girls and having sex with them is not a very good way to find a wife, it debases the woman and yourself.

Parties and talking to guys, etc. bring a negative image to mind because in this society these things signify eventual sexual relations. While this is not always true, through experience and the media it is thought that this is the general consequence.

You say you want your wife to be a virgin, however you yourself might not be? That is a double standard. Sikhism teaches equality, the same standards for EVERYONE.

You should be concerned about your behavior first, and once that is taken care of, you can start to worry about how the culture is moving along.

Gur Fateh,
HSD