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Summary of Question:	Living In Lord's World (Please Read The Whole Text.)
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 10/19/2004 7:18 AM MDT

Dear Readers,

This is my first time to this site. I almost read questions and answers till 9/4/2004 and was really excited and lost in thoughts.
I would like to share my experiences with you. I was born in a Gursikh family and was brought up by very loving parents and an elder sister. As Time never stays still, things started to change slowly. I got involved with various girls as we say as the addolscent age comes it brings with it Kam Vasna. The sexual likeness increased. That involved having relations with girls and even i had relations with 2 boys. I saw ponographic movie when i studying in 12th standard and before that i had a good sexual encounter with my mothers sister.
Slowly and slowly i was drawing into the worst phase of my life.
GOD BLESS THE SOUL
I failed my exams not once but thrice. Then i went to College, but the passing from the college was very difficult for me as i passed with grace marks, but i didnt lost a single year of my life.During my college days, i involved with a very beautiful girl and started liking her a lot. I felt that if i use my sex appeal then only i will be able to make her as my permanent mentor. Our relationship slowly turned into physical and the time i was going to complete my college i started loving her--a lot. I started my career with good job and things started looking great for me. I even proposed to her and asked my parents consent to marry her with me. But, time started turning its back towards me. My parents said no to me as the girl was from a different community. To add to worse i was removed from the company and i joined another job and was also removed from it. I in all was removed from 3 jobs and then one day i consulted a Astrologer and found that things don't turn out good if we get married. The Astrologer told me that my mother would die the following year and my father would leave home, I would have a abnormal child etc. I consulted other astrologers also. But to no vail. All were saying the same thing again and again.
And i had to take some serious decision regarding the marriage to this girl and everybody in the city was knowing about our relationship.
I had started doing Shri Japji Sahebji (sometimes whole and sometimes first 5 banis) from a year or so and used light jyot without eating or drinking in the morning.
I had become very frustated by living this life of mine. I wanted to repent for my actions(mainly sexual as i didnt have any other negative aspect of my character) which had started creating a lot of emotional turmoil in my life. Once even i tried to commit suicide but at the last moment it got everted.
I had to choose between my parents and my girl. And i choose my Parents.
Its been 9 years since i have left my girl but she has been my first love and the love of my life.
I am married today and blessed with a daughter.
But, whenever i look back those memories of past hunt me a lot.
Few months back i had been removed from a well prestigious and reputed company, for no fault of mine. Till date i have worked with 7 companies and from each and every company i had been removed. I am even facing a lot of financial problems.
My Father runs the house, as i have no money by which i can bring the groceries to home.
I have faced abusives regarding my being a Sikh. The common 12 o'clock thing.
I used to go and still go in lot of depressions.
I feel for my parents a lot. I feel that inspite of such bad phases in my life, my parents have supported me a lot be it a emotional turmoil or a financial problem, or problem related to my career.
NOW THE GOOD PART....

I started praying when i was removed from my 2nd job and slowly the Jyot thing also started. I still religiously light the morning jyot eventhough i am undergoing a severe depression. I pray religiously the everlasting SHRI JAPJI SAHEBJI which has brought light into my life. I have no other negative aspect of my life(e.g. drugs,stealing or any other),except the sexual urgeness, which by GURUJI's grace is slowing getting converted into some other form of energy. I prayed a lot for his help. Earlier i used to see Shri Guru Granth Sahebji as a mere holy book, but now i see the whole Universe in it. I believe that Lord Shiva and Parvati Mai are my parents and they sent me into this world under my gurus guidance. I feel that My parents(Shiva & Parvati mai) are residing in my GURUJI. My GURU is the one in whom the Whole Universe resides, he is the Parmatma or the Supreme Power who in the form of SHRI GURU GRANTH SAHEBJI resides along with me...otherway around he has given me a chance to be with him. I stay with my loving parents, my wife, the new born daughter and the GREAT SHRI GURU GRANTH SAHIBJI. Every morning my mother does the Prakash of Shri Guru Granth Sahebji and afterwards i go then light a Jyot and do my prayers.
Earlier i used to receite mantras from Hindu culture but slowly by slowly he has shown me that u can recite Shabads instead of mantras, & this shabads are also very very effective. Once my father has also experienced miracle while reciting Beautiful verses from Shri Guru Granth Sahebji.
I would like to say that
I have been asking for his forgivness for my mistakes continuously everyday and also requesting him to help me in my upliftment so that i can become a True Living Being(Gursikh). I don't want to pose my thoughts on anybody,neither i would like to say that do that or that in your trouble times..., i would just like to say that
Just give HIM a chance to save yourself from yourself. Submit YOURSELF FULLY so that he can lift u up from the common herd of people born on this planet. Don't submit to the sheer presures of this world. Life is full of Wonders... Even the rich and the most beautiful person on this planet have a Dark phase.
I know I WILL BECOME A MOST MEMORABLE PERSON IN THIS WORLD WITH FULL OF RICHES AND COMFORTS WHAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER, but i need to go through some changes before i can enjoy such LUXOURIES.
I believe him and he is the whole sol for me. Sometimes when i am alone and dream of him i sometimes start crying. This happens when i remember VAISHNO DEVI or GOLDEN TEMPLE. Both are same for me because in them my WAHE GURU DWELLS, and not only in this two places but inside every religious place. I have started considering my Body as a TEMPLE/GURUDWARA/MOSQUE/CHURCH...which has to be kept clean and free of ills of this World.I have seen many miracles taking place in my life which have shaped me tremendously.

So my fellow beings look up to the LORD when u have any problem, he is always there in front of u...U just need to call him from ur heart.GIve your life in his hands and just see the MIRACLES happening.

THANK YOU.