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Summary of Question:	Re:Help Family Or Follow Dreams
Category:	Other
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 11/18/2003 2:57 PM MST

Dear kid, I would first like to tell you that i really respect the feeling you have of being thankful and appreciative of the care and sacrifice your mom did (in this era it is becoming less common).Even though I do agree with the suggestion that is given to you by the moderator (which is more the modern US kind of approach), but from what I grasp is that when you went to university your mom paid for everything and expected from you to just study hard and make the best out of it.I do not think you worked while you were going to school (which you could have atleast during the summer or holidays to help a little, but now do not feel bad.There was no one to guide you and you probably did not even think until you matured and are realising how much your mom did for you).I think that this is what your mom wants for your brother (to study hard without wasting time and getting the best out of university so later can have a great job). My husband tells my daughter all the time to only study and he will pay for her college but make the best out of it (I live in US) and I personally think that she should work during summer or so, so that she can appreciate hard work and maybe it will make her study hard depending on the kind of job she wants.Right now she in 10th grade and works saturdays for 3 or 4 hours and I tell her if you want better than this then you can use your time wisely and cut down couple hours of entertainment instead. Anyway, my point being that if your brother can or wants to work and be able to hold his grades to moms expectations then talk to him like the moderator said and work out something and you can move and send some money too.But I personally think that even if your brother agrees to work mom would not feel comfortable (like my husband) thinking it might distract or add stress to his study. Maybe you both can convince her and give it a try and if it works then after a year or so you can move away.

But you know what kiddo, if I were in your place, I would just stay if not all 4 years; few years and get a job and help mom monetarily until you can find a job good enough to be able to move away and still help mom so she does not have to work astronomical hours(you have a life to live after 4 years the way you want to, this way you got both. mom is helped and now you can enjoy your life guilt free which is very important for any success).
Unless you find a job good enough far away that can take care of your needs and still be able to send money home so mom does not have to work those odd hours.
You are lucky (thank GOD for it) that even though you have an alcoholic father GOD gave you a mother who brought you where you are, she is a gem if she does without asking or wanting anything back that is like an icing on the cake.She is a form of GOD in a human body helping you in the environment that could be awful. Help her and waheguru will help you. You never know what you have in life ahead but one thing for sure you will not have ahead is a life with guilt if you just payback now when it is needed rather than if she worked too hard and got sick and then you would not be able to live your life at your will with peace and you will be paying back in a different form. Oh! you are so lucky, kid.I am so happy that there are parents even in this world who do for their kids without expecting any payback.Give your mom a big hug from me and tonight I will pray for you both.(keep doing path even if it is mool mantra - as often as you can and where ever you are.Count your blessing dear and setup an example like your mom for your brother. All the best. ps: keep us posted .