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Summary of Question:	Attachment
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 5/15/2004 3:03 PM MDT

theres something i dont understand, we as sikhs are supposed to refrain from; lust, greed. anger, vanity and attachment. But when we marry we are supposed to c ourslfs and our spouse as one soul. What i dont understand is how can you love somebody, believe them to be a part of u and not become attached?

The fear of becomming attached makes me avoid any opportunity of falling in love, as with attachment comes dependency...but back to the point, how are u supposed to go about it, and is it actually possible to be in love with ur spouse, ur kids, parents etc and not become attached?

(REPLY) Sat Nam. Good question. Possible, Yes, Difficult, Yes! The thing is to understand the difference between Love, which is a giving, open hearted joyous sharing of yourself, and Attachment which is based on Need, and Dependency. If we can keep ourselves firmly grounded and attached to God and Guru, then we can experience and enjoy human relationships while keeping our perspective that they will not last forever. We need to be able to "let go" at any moment in time, but meanwhile to love and cherish those near and dear. it is a fine balance. As Sikhs, we are not told to go sit in a cave and be renunciates, no, we are encouraged to marry and raise families and make the world a better place by being living examples of the virtues taught by our Gurus. Kindness, courage, righteousness, majesty. "Falling" in love is different from "loving." If we can see God in everyone, then we can love other people (in spite of their human imperfections) because we recognize the same divinity, the same Truth in them that lives in us. We are all: SAT NAM. May God bless you and Guru guide you to fulfill your highest destiny.SP