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Summary of Question:	Faith
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 5/21/2002 6:32 AM MDT

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Kalsa Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

I have a lot of faith in God & believe everything happens for a reason. I've had very difficult life & I know that there are people out there who are worse off than me. My parents are very strict, a few year back I met a Tarkan (I'm a Jatt) I had a relationship with him for nearly 3 years but it was a very difficult relationship, I loved him but he kept putting me down & I felt very helpless. He was quite a few years older than me (I'm 23 years old now) Eventually I gave up because my parents would not agree. I felt as if I've let myself & God down because I didn't end up with him. Then I met someone else who was the same caste as me (I don't believe in the caste system, but my parents do) He was a Singh too & I thought I could trust him because he came across as if he also had strong faith in God like myself & wouldn't mess me about. I prayed day & night that things would work out between us because I didn't want to get hurt or let myself down again... but he betrayed me very badly, he left me. That was about 10 months ago & to this day I ask the question WHY? What did I do wrong? I didn't know where to turn and the only place I was able to stay in piece was at the Gurudwara. I go to the Gurdwara 5.30/6.00 in the morning & do Seva & Simran and I'm the youngest one there & always get told by the ladies that I will meet someone very nice day... to be honest I've lost my faith & don't believe them. Because a little part of me thinks that God's let me down, I feel bad about saying this but I'm being honest. All I want is to be happy, but my past is eating me up. My parents are looking for a suitable partner for me but I feel hesitant because I would find it difficult to trust someone again. And my other problem is that I want to marry a Singh & in England there aren't many. So I seem to be having one problem after another.
Thank you for your time.
(REPLY) Our faith is tested in many ways. We think that God should provide us with what we want, otherwise, we lose faith. Well, maybe what we want isn't what we really need. So, one relationship didn't work out. But you weren't married to that person. And then you met another man, and that didn't work out. How about trying to find your happiness in the seva you're doing, instead of doing that seva as a means to an end? Getting married may bring you happiness, but as a woman you need to find your fulfillment in your relationship to your own soul, and through the Guru. How about a career? how about finding some worthy cause to serve? (Red Cross volunteer, serving in a homeless shelter, or a soup kitchen for the poor) Certainly there must be some Singhs in England! But if you can change your attitude, and instead of losing faith in God and Guru, be grateful that you have not been put into a wrong marriage, it's just possible that the "right" marriage partner will come along. I certainly wish you the best! Blessings, SP