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Summary of Question:	Any Suggestions?
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Friday, 5/14/2004 4:17 PM MDT

what could i possibly do to get my punjabi boyfriends mom to accept me, an american girl, into the family? any information would be WONDERFUL! thanx so much!!!!!!!!!!!

.:*MegaN*:.

(REPLY) Sat Nam. You have asked a really difficult, if not impossible, question. First of all, how religious is his family? If they are devout Sikhs, then the main hurdle is not what country you are from, but how you worship God. Between the cultural differences, and the religious differences, you have a rather hopeless cause. However, maybe, possibly, depending upon many factors, if you were to learn about the Sikh religion (Just read everything on the SikhNet website for starters) and IF you sincerely felt that it is the right path for you, then perhaps, maybe, (but I wouldn't count on it) there's a remote chance that you might be accepable to his family --- but you have not given us any details or information to make that seem likely. You call your boyfriend "Panjabi" -- so maybe you're only looking at the cultural differences, and those alone are enough to make this so difficult! There's the pressure of all the other members of his family, and their friends, and then there's the behavior code that is so different from the American way of relating to parents, older people, etc. American women are used to being extremely independent, and outspoken. I'm not saying that's necessarily bad, it's just that it is often offensive to people from other countries. On the other hand, do you have any idea what it would be like to be a woman, a wife in an Indian family? So, all I can say is, do some praying for guidance, and know that everything that happens is God's will. SP