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Summary of Question:	Advice To Single Mom
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Tuesday, 5/27/2003 3:54 PM MDT

I am so touched by your story, i am 22 and can't imagine what you went through and are going through. What i can tell you (my opinion) PLEASE tell your parents. First of all don't expect them to go nuts over you, don't expect them not to taunt you, face reality you had sex outside wedlock, thats a BIG no no ... but everyone makes mistakes. You have to realize you made several. I know this sounds harsh..but not eveything in life is sugar coated. Love yourself, you brought a beautiful son into this world all by yourself!! YOur parents will be proud that the have such a brave daughter (don't expect them to say that!). You need some shelter and some close relative (mom/dad/sibling) to be there for you, honey its oK to be dependent on your parents. THey aren't always doing and saying things we wanna hear but they always manage to do the right thing for us, atleast majority of times. As the reply earlier...drop your ex...he's not worth it. It will be hard explaining to your son where the dad is...thats why having a father figure around (such as your dad) will help. ITs very important for a young child to have both father and mother figure. Please...join a support group, there are many annonymous groups. Get your mom and dad to help you. Don't drop the news over the phone or email. Visit them , explain to them you made several mistakes you are sorry, you don't expect forgiveness right away but you need their help. Let them know you understand how awful the story is and your actions were, you've learned, don't want to hide it from them. Repent! They will appreciate it, understand that punjabi/desi parents dont always tell you they r proud of you or that they love you. YOu just have to believe they do, becuase now ur a mom. Don't wait untill its too late and social services take some action (initiated by the guys family). Lastly, you have to work for your son, you owe it to him to give him a good life. You owe it to yourself to be a successful women/mom. So define what success is for you and take a head start. You didn't sound religious in your question ... but i will tell you waheguru is watching over you and walking right beside you, you just have to feel his presence. He is there. Best wishes!

Rajna

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Thank you for your contribution and wisdom. GTKK