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Summary of Question:	Caste System
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Monday, 3/10/2003 5:45 PM MDT

I read so many Q&A under youth section, specially “Love and marriage” category. First I should thanks for giving wonderful responses. I think I have something to share and something to ask to everyone. Many of people are in love, want to marry (with their lover) and spend rest of their life. But they just can’t marry b/c of caste system. As Baba jii or God said nothing about caste system. Don’t you think we need to do something about Caste system and about our parents? Parents who just keeping this system and don’t care about their children’s feeling. May be you don’t believe my most of friends suffer from these system. Even they are in love with Sikh guys/girls. Don’t you think we all need to do something about this stupid system? I know in India people think about these things a lot. But since we are in USA/ Canada, we should change this system. Somehow if we can change our parents thinking b/c many hearts are broken and many will. Only young generation is suffering from this. Can you and anyone else suggest what can we do? I always talk to my parents and always try to make them understand. They do understand me but when its come to marriage matter they always want me to marry in same caste why?

I do path everyday and believe on God also. But when its come to marriage things God don’t listen to me. God is just helping our parents all the time. I think Baba jii also don’t want to change the system at all. Second thing, why is everything come on kismet (Luck). Everyone says like may be he/she is not in your kismet that’s why you can’t marry to him/her. If Caste system is here than everyone have bad kismet. Trust me.
I know our parents always do well for us. They never think anything bad for their children. But at least they should understand their children. If their children do anything wrong such as curt marriage or ran away from home. Parents balm everything on their children. I know a girl who married against her wish b/c her parents force her. After one or two days, she runs away from her husband’s house. Now you tell me where is our future standing?
Personally, my two friends run away from their home b/c their parents didn’t want them to marry out of their caste. I know this is very wrong. We can’t hurt our parents feeling. After my friends run away, I saw the bad condition of their parents. On that day, I decided I wouldn’t fall in love in my life. If I would I will tell my parents and make them agree for my wedding. One day come I fall in love with wonderful guy and we decided we won’t do anything like my friends did. So we talked to our parents about us. Everything is fine but when they find out that we are not from same caste. There you go. Both parents said a plain NO. NO and Never. Now tell me what is our fault. Now my wonderful person’s parents fixed his wedding in this month in their own “CASTE”(he doesnt want to marry anyone esle). We thought God will help us but I think in this kind of case God don’t want to listen to people like us.
I always heard that after marriage everyone forget about his or her lost love. I know we all have to move with their life. But its easily just forgets about that person and busy with other. Right now my all feeling are dead about everything (about love, parents and God). I am left with nothing. You said God is everywhere and now you tell me where is God? I mean fall in love and care about this person all the time and one day come everything is gone. What is this? Why god does this with me? I cant see anything forward in my life even for me its very hard to do path these days. Where can I get my trust back that I used to do on God all the time? I don’t have the same feeling about my parents and God. Please help me.

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Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa,
Wahe Guru Ji Ki Fateh.

It is a simple thing. Caste has no meaning in Sikhism. This insanity of children being forced to marry because of caste issues has nothing to do with Sishism or the Guru's teachings. The only way this system is going to change is if the Sikh youth take a stand and decide that they will not follow the caste system. And this means respectfully but firmly following the Guru's teachings - no matter what. Caste is nothing to a Sikh. All are equal in the eyes of God, as our Guru taught us. Any Sikh is free to marry any other Sikh - it doesn't matter what. Caste does not exist for a Sikh.

Your parents cannot see this. But YOU can see it. And if you have the courage to live as the Gurus taught and not follow the caste system, not let yourself be defined by caste, not let your future be decided by caste - then you are doing a difficult but noble service to the Sikh Panth. Free yourself of the bonds of being tied to caste and help save your brothers, sisters and the ones who will come after you. Stand by the Guru's teachings and the Guru will stand with you.

You are a Sikh of the Guru. THAT is your only caste.

May Guru bless you and guide you through this test.

All love,

GPK