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Summary of Question:	Living With Parents
Category:	General Sikhism
Date Posted:	Sunday, 3/13/2005 6:16 AM MDT

Hi, I need some advice regarding living at home with parents. I tried searching through the site, but didnt find something similar asked before so here goes.

I am a 25 year old sikh guy living with my parents. The thing is that my parents feel/believe that once I get married, I should live with them alongwith my wife. I dont blame them for thinking this way since this is the way tradition has followed. Ive lived in the US and in Canada for sometime now, but now Im back home . My thoughts have changed a bit since I believe in everyone having a little bit of their own space after marriage. And dont get me wrong, Im not saying that I want to abandon my duties as being the son, I still want to take care of my parents and family but just would like that little bit of space.
My question is: Am I wrong in thinking this way and should stay with my parents?
Another thing is that I used to live in a joint family( my father and us with his parents) and that was a complete train wreck so we moved out. I learnt from that experience and think that the best way to go is to have your own place right after marriage. Please advice.
Thanks

(REPLY) Sat Nam. There will be those who think that no matter what, you should stick with "tradition" and live with an extended family after you marry. You've already experienced what you describe as a "train wreck" -- so it's obvious to me that you really don't want to subject yourself, nor your future wife to a situation like that, but you're feeling guilty for not wanting to live with your parents. Right? No one can make this choice for you, I think that it's something you will want to discuss with your future wife, and also think about the personalities and character of the people involved. You don't mention your mother, so I don't know how much she suffered during the time with your grandparents. There are definitely benefits for several generations living together, as well as drawbacks. You need to weigh the pros and cons of each possibility and then make your decision. Just don't make such a decision based on guilt, but rather on what will be BEST for you and your wife and the children to come. May God bless you and Guru's wisdom guide you. SP