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Summary of Question:	What Should I Do Can U Please Give Me Some Advice
Category:	Meditation
Date Posted:	Thursday, 10/10/2002 6:45 PM MDT

Sar Sri Akal

Im very thankful to the makers of this site as this site has made alot of difference to alot of people. May Waheguru Ji bless you guys.

Well I have asked some questions before as well and I am very thankful that I have been replied back with such beautiful answers. I thankyou all from my heart for helping me and other poeple as well.

Well I have another question today, it is like whenever I am confused about something I always come to this site.

Can you please tell me something, I am curious about something, I dont know how to put this into the right words, so please if i say it wrong please forgive me.

1) I want to do path in the morning like very badly and I just cant, I just cant get up, its so hard, so hard. And everyday i feel like i am wasting each day of my life, and when i do get up on a day, the next day i cant. Is it because God doesnt want me to do path? Does Guru Ji not want me to do path and be a good person? I also want to learn how to do kirtan, but i dont know where i can learn from, do you think Guru Ji will give the chance to learn kirtan?
Whenever i am doing path i have noticed that if i am in a sad mood i can concentrate on my path, but when i am not so sad my mind always seems to wonder in all directions.How can i keep my concentration on Gurbani? I dont seem to like anything anymore, like i cant even concentrate on my studies anymore, i dont really like anything, but what i do like is going to the Gurdwara and listenting to kirtan there, and doing path in early morning, but i just cant do path in the morning at all because i just CANT get up even though i want to SOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Can you please help with my situation here? Can you please tell me what is happening to me?

Does it mean that i dont love God if i cant get up at amritvela???? How does it feel when we love God like truly??? Is it the way we think? Or is loving God like the love when you love someone like a person? Does God and Guru Ji listen to our ardas when we have done path but our mind has been wondering in all the other directions, and when we are doing ardas in conclusion and sometimes we even cant even concentrate on the ardas, which i know is very bad, and when we feel like our ardas hasnt been accepted? Can you please tell me if Guru Ji did hear the ardas???? or does Guru Ji only listen to the ardases of the people who get up at amritvela, do their path, and do path at evenings too? or does Guru Ji also listen to the ardases of such pathetic people like myself? can you please help me out?
How do i 'Give my Head to Guru Ji' like 'Guru Ji noo sir soapna', I want to do that but how do i do that?? its like my life is being wasted everyday can you please tell me what is happening to me and what i should do because i think i will lose it soon because my mind just does not seem to calm down.
One more thing how do i have true love for God in my heart? like i mean sachi sharda? I want Guru Ji to take control of life do you think Guru Ji cares ?

sorry as i have asked so many questions please do forgive me for many mistakes
Thankyou so much i will be waiting for your reply


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Reply:

Sat Siri Akal.

Relax, dear. One of the greatest sins we can commit against ourselves is to make spiritual practice a compeition where we have a picture in our minds of what a "perfect" Gursikh is and then we beat ourselves up whenever we don't live up to that image. You are doing everything right. So don't worry.

Ok. A few basics. In the Amrit Veyla, your subconscious mind is dumping its stored problems/issues into the conscious mind. This is why we have our weirdest dreams during that time of the morning. It's difficult to wake up at that time of the morning because we resist facing ourselves. This is a perfectly normal block that almost everyone goes through at some time or another. To get up at the Amrit Veyla is to face ourselves, face our nonsense, face our insanity, face our craziness - so yes, it can be hard and sometimes, the resistance is so strong - you can hardly wake up at all.

So -what to do about it? Meditate before you go to sleep at night. This will help. Also, stop making "Amrit Veyla" a hard and fast rule and start making it a preferred goal. Promise yourself that you will meditate every morning when you wake up, no matter what time you wake up. Just begin giving yourself that experience. In time, you will find it easier to wake up in the Amrit Veyla. The important thing is to do something every day - no matter if you're doing it at the right time or not. Eventually, with practice, you will become more steady, more solid and more consistent and it will become natural to wake up in the Amrit Veyla. Do the best you can and know that it is enough. As for concentration - again - it just takes practice. Don't judge yourself, or how good you're doing. If you're distractced, just notice that you're distracted and keep doing your meditation. The mind likes to make a lot of background noise and as long as you don't attach to it too much, it can just be there while you're meditating. The background noise doesn't prevent the soul from doing what it has to do.

If you want to learn kirtan, then ask the Guru to send you the means to learn it. Someone will show up in your life who can help you - you just need to be on the lookout for it and pay attention.

What's it like to love God? It's different for every person because every person has an absolute unique relationship to the Divine. Remember God is in you - not outside of you. That Light is in your own heart. What you are searching to love, to be loved by, to accept and be accepted by lies within you and nowhere else. So - does your own heart hear the Ardas? Of course it does - even if you're distracted and doing it at the wrong time of day - so what - the prayer still works and the heart still accepts it. How can you give your head to the Guru? Stop worrying. You can tell the Guru - Guruji, I've got all these crazy thoughts in my mind and there's no way I can calm myself down - here - it's your problem, not mine. Don't try to be anything other than what you are. What you are is perfect. What you experience is what you need to experience. God and Guru are not people who are judging us, or out to reject us. They are something so much more subtle, so much more Divine, the living energy of Love in the Universe between all beings and Love only has one message - keep going, keep growing, I'm here waiting for you.

Meditate on the words of the Guru and understand the absolute acceptance, compassion and love behind it all. Then - practice that acceptance, compassion and love for yourself towards yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

All love.

GPK