Previous

Next

Ask a Question

Summary of Question:	Sikhs Marrying Non-Sikhs - Sgpc Rehit
Category:	Love & Marriage
Date Posted:	Saturday, 6/14/2003 11:07 PM MDT

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa

Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

I am well aware that this topic has come up many times, and rightly so. But I have a question that is a little different, and not quite answered here.

You might consider my question a response to the following discussion held on this forum (see, I did a search):

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Summary of Question: Are sikhs allowed to get married to hindus or any other cast?
Category: Love & Marriage
Date Posted: Wednesday, 7/07/1999 1:21 PM MDT

*******

Reply
*******
Sikhs are free to marry people from any religion, although if you are an Amritdhari sikh, it is highly recommended that you marry an Amritdhari for compatibility in spiritual lifestyles. It is very healthy if gradually, both spouses gain more understanding of each other's faith and develop respect for it. Gurbani does advocate that "O mind, meditate on one, O loved one" i.e. follow only one path to get to God (altho' you might respect all the paths that lead to Him).
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In general I agree with the repsonse to this question. Now let me add my scenario and question to this. I am a Sikh man, aged 23, who has been involved with a non-Sikh girl for a number of years. It has finally surfaced in my family, and we are struggling to find some common ground and come to a resolution on what to do about this "problem." I will not give up this girl, because it would mean giving up my love, and dreams. I am also quite sure that we can make the relationship work between the two of us, but my family is part of me and I cannot give them up either.

Today the family had an "intervention" for me. A prominent, Gursikh member of the global Sikh community happens to be part of my family and in this surprise meeting he raised this point, taken from the Sikh Reht Maryada found at the SGPC website (http://www.sgpc.net/rehat_maryada/section_four_chap_eleven.html):

CHAPTER XI, ARTICLE XVIII, SECTION K
k. Persons professing faiths other than the Sikh faith cannot be joined in wedlock by the Anand Karaj ceremony.

Is this accurate and does it mean that I as a Sikh cannot be married in front of my Guruji? This is disheartening information for me, and seems to contradict the response to the question I referenced above.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thank you so much.

**********
REPLY
************
Sat Siri Akaal. The SGPC has codified the Rehit as they understand it. Many Sikhs outside of SGPC respectfully disagree with the very concept that a Sikh cannot marry a non-Sikh. While it is generally agreed that it is preferable to marry within one's faith, that's not how the real world is.

The reasons so many people disagree with SGPC on this are several. First of all, Sikhi recognizes the validity of all faiths; why else did Guru Tegh Bahadur die!?!?! Secondly, Gurbani is clear that anyone is capable of meditating on the Naam, and that being BORN a Sikh does not make one a Sikh. A close reading of Guru Nanak's Sidh Gosht tells us this. Thirdly, does marrying a non-Sikh mean the Sikh has become non-Sikh? Who is SGPC to tell us that? Fourthly, to discriminate in this way is class-based thing. All are equal in the eyes of God and Guru. So a non-Sikh is 'not good enough?'-- is that what that means? That Sikhs are a class and caste unto themselves, above all others? Hmmmmm...... Finally, a strong marriage has a common love of Waheguru/God that can cross specific faiths. Sometimes when a Sikh marries a non-Sikh, the non-Sikh adopts Sikhi because s/he appreciates the Sikh practices of bani, bana, simran and seva. In the West, many Sikh gurdwaras do not enforce this portion of SGPC's codification of the Rehit.

It is clear that your family are trying to tell you how to live your life. You might consider asking them if they are worried about YOU or are they worried about how others will view THEM. This in and of itself is NOT very Sikh. Guru Nanak was not the businessman son his father wanted him to be; if he had followed only his father's wishes, where would SIKHS be today.... ?????
Guru ang sang,
-DKK