Dear Friends,
I?m with the words of Sundeep and also with the reply of anonymous friend has he had said Dating is a leadup to sex, but which is very true nowadays since we the human beings always get vanquished by the Kamvassana even in Gurbani it is preferred as one of the most vital enemy of the us and it is very difficult to fight against it has compare to Krodh, Moho and Maya and this has always results in premarital sex and post martial , Nowadays which are oftenly seen and hear, Survey says these rates are very high among the Sikh Girls who dates to a Non Sikh guys and very less in Sikh boys, I?m sorry to say but this is the real fact and very much shameful for our religion. Some gives an excuse has a Sacha Pyaar but why this Sacha can?t be expressed in the same religion where both of them had came & grown up in the same Climate under the shadow of same religion I think the matching (Sacha Pyaar ) should be more perfect in case of Same Religion rather then going away to different religion because it?s very diffic
ult to adjust with the different religion rather then the same one since right from the childhood we are aware of the Do?s and Don?ts in the religion and understand the weakness and strength of each other .
There are various examples where the Inter Religion Marriages had turned up to Divorcee because of the adjustment in different religious family like their eating, dressing, talking, behaving and even praying habits, A real fact I had personally has find out from the Sikhboys often questioning me neither I drink, neither I smoke, neither I chew tabacoo, pan or Gutka still my dream one runs towards the other Non Sikh guys why? Since I possess all the above habits considered to be the good one rather than the bad one (often find in Non Sikh guys) Why she is not preferring me even though she likes me I had came from the religion has she is has same thought as she possess The Why can you answer, I think I?m not the right person to answer she could be the right one to for answering your Question, I have come across the same question many times from today?s youth hope Sikh girls could answer them very well.
As said by our dear friend ?Dating is not really harmful, unless according to the Sikh belief that Premarital Sex is wrong, is somehow committed? and hence the same should be avoided has said earlier as Human being always get overpowered by Kaamvassna. So it should be avoided.
So dear friends please Think over this before you go for the next date, If you loose your Virginity before Marriage It will be a crime not only in the Sikhism but also in the name of Humanity and for your life partner that?s is the reason during Baptism this comes as one of the major Bajjar Kurrat, ParaTan Gamey Nahi hoona,
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REPLY
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Dear One Among Us,
Thank you for writing in. This is a really tough dilemma is it not. Here we are seeing the young Ladies dating other men, and it's damn tough, isnt it? The reason they like the non Sikh guys are many. There are many things in Sikh households that young Sikh women have the chance to experience, that, might cause them to have a negative opinion of Sikh men. Today the Young women are being effected by the Culture of the west. Many of Us may not like the things that come along with it, but the fact is we are not doing enough to adapt to the changes in society. We are not adapting fast enough in mindset. That is why there is so much craziness in the world right now. Just in the 90's the world has shrunk incredibly ( by this I mean that through the advent of Sattelites and Computer so much more information is available that was not previously available) everything is aligning in the sense of Popular Culture. Just look at the changes in India. Women now wear jeans etc. Look I personally have no problem with these women or how they dress. Guru taught us not to judge others! The thing is that with these changes we need to change the way we are raising Kids. They are the ones that are truly influenced. The reason that young sikh women are finding men of other religions is because that is what they aree fed in regards to the perfect man. The clean shaven, handsome hero type that is on every T.V. in every movie, in every advertisement. We have through the media changed the true values of a man into the this perfect looking empty man the same has happened in our image of women. Genetically women look for a man that is strong and will provide the woman with children and food ( genetically ). That is their genetic drive. They way they do this is visually, whoever looks the strongest must be. Society helps with this by providing the prototypical man. Of course this prototypical man is not real. These guys are as messed up and neurotic as anybody. In other words this guy is not neccesarily the best provider. The problem is that the public is eating this up. Especially the Kids and young adults. What is cool must be followed. Nobody wants to be left out, so the bottom line is that the people who are most effected are the ones with " a longing to belong" the easiest way to fix the problem is to explain to the kids that what they are seeing is not reality. They should not be believing everything that they see. And, that they do belong to something Valid and Real and Dignified and True. We have to shake off the sleepiness and start getting rid of this feeling that we as Sikhs are so different than every body else and we should be somehow ashamed because we have our "kesh" and our " pagri's" . We have to be damned proud of who we are, and we need to pass that on to the younger generation. Then we can start to attract the girls that are leaving. In the mean time let them go and find out the truth of what I stated above. These guys are no better than we are and they are going to find that out. All of you young men out there who are concerned with this dont be, God and Guru will help you to meet the Woman for you and you just have to believe it. Thank you very very much
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Re: dating (09/02/1999)